terlalu jauh untuk kembali kesemula, terlalu dalam untuk dijalani

I don’t think you understand how much you destroyed me. When you would start to call me less and less, I would still fall asleep with the phone by my bed in case you decided that you loved me again and wanted to talk. I don’t think you understand how pathetic you made me feel. You weren’t supposed to know the extent of how badly you hurt me. It was a secret I hid quite well. 

Even when you broke up with me, I tried to display some semblance of control so I could show you that you didn't win. What a lie. You won. You won for a weeks. Every day, you would win and own my feelings. You had no clue.

It’s all a game we play. You’re not supposed to know how much power you had over me. You’re not supposed to how much I thought about you, how often I thought about what were you doing, how often you reduced me to tears. If you did know, it would make me tragic AND dumped, which was too much for my pride to bear.

I wanted to tell you so many times. I wanted to tell you how insane you made me feel, how much you had taken over my life but I just couldn’t. I had to be the only one who knew. I couldn’t bring myself to give you insight into my crazy thought processes because I still wanted you to think of me as cute, nice, and normal. If you understood the depths of my devastation, your perception of me might’ve changed for the worse. Well, screw that. 

You need to know just how badly you broke my heart. I don’t feel like sparing your feelings anymore and preserving this false image of myself. You’re never coming back so why don’t I just let it all hang out? YOUR REJECTION MADE ME TEMPORARILY GO INSANE. There. I said it. You did that to me. Not attractive, right? I don’t care. If i had told you this sooner, maybe I wouldn’t have wasted so much time mourning our relationship. Maybe if I had told you how hurt I was, I would finally start feeling okay again. Maybe.

I’m so tired of not being honest about my feelings. It just made everything so much worse. So here you go, here’s my confession. You made someone go insane with grief and that someone was me. You broke my heart. SURPRISE!

Thanks both of you. 

baby i lied got feelings for you i can't hide, so sad but it's true. it's hard but i

can't let you stay because we both know where it leads and i have to let you go. it's over we both know and sorry won't fix us this time

words won't help to heal what hurts me. sometimes it seems i'd sleep for dreams when you were mine but with the sun the truth becomes so clear i can't go back this time

Dear Santa,

This year, please gimme a big fat account and a slim body. And please please don't mix those two up like you did last year.

Thanks.

"T" stands for Tasya, she's there when I'm in my point of boredom. she's there when I have to share all my happiness. she's there for tell all the jokes she have. she's there when I'm hungry. she's there when I'm in the deep of my sadness. last time I checked, that were all the characteristic of Bestfriend &I know she is. 

she's not beautiful, she's not a role model &she's not a motivator and I don't care.

I just lucky to feel her loyalness :$ 

she got sad, when I feel it too

she got happy, when I feel it too

we feel everything all the same. 

you can't take her from me, baby! B-)

ghal, thanks for being there for me, 

when I need you ;-)

I watched you cry
Bathed in sunlight
By the bathroom door
You said you wished you did not love me anymore

You left your flowers in the backseat of my car
The things we said and did have left permanent scars
Obsessed depressed at the same time
I can't even walk in a straight line
I've been lying in the dark no sunshine
No sunshine
No sunshine

She cries
This is more than goodbye
When I look into your eyes
You're not even there
It's just a feeling
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have, oh yeah

Cause I can't believe that it's over
You've hit your low
You've lost control and you want me back
You may not believe me but I gave you all I had
Undress confess that you're still mine
Roll around in a bed full of tears
I'm still lying in the dark no sunshine
No sunshine
No sunshine

She cries
This is more than goodbye
When I look into your eyes
You're not even there
It's just a feeling
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have

No I can't believe that it's over now
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have

So much to say
It's not the way she does her hair
It's the way she seems to stare right through my eyes
And in my darkest day when she refused to run away
From love she tried so hard to save

It's just a feeling
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have

It's just a feeling
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have

I can't believe that it's over
I can't believe that it's over
Now I can't believe that's it's over, yeah

Taman Sari

hari ini gue bakal nyeritain tentang Kelas 11, tak lain adalah kelas gue yang jadi PEC buat Taman Sari. Taman Sari ituh pondok yang katanya seram hiii berbau mistis hahahaha katanya tapi sudah di ubah untuk........oke gue bener bener ngga tau sampe sekarang itu gunanya buat apa karena belom pernah dipake lagi semenjak 'PAINTING AND PHOTOGRAPHY EXHIBITION'. banyak hal hal yang seru pas kita jadi PEC disana, dan banyak juga jam yang memotong jam pelajaran Bu Mega WOOOT WOTT!!!! 

jadi pas itu kan ujan ujanan gitu kan, gue dengan sok ide mengambil boots ANAK SD can you imagine seberapa kecilnya itu boots buat gue hahahaha dan Olin pun ikutan make boots biar ke Taman Sari flat kita ngga rusak kucel jelek amburadul. dan gue memilih warna yang sesuai dengan gue hahahaha kalian mau tau apa? WARNA HIJAU LUMUT DENGAN CORAK MILITER rawrr sekali guys dan Olin pun dengan badan sangar nya memilih WARNA KUNING DENGAN POLA BEBEK BEBEK eem ketuker sepertinya kita lin. nah terus gue sama Olin tuh kesenengan karena sudah dapat sepatu yang sesuai, kita bermain becek becekan sambil ontheway Taman Sari yang ngeliatin pada takjub sama itu sepatu bahkan ada OB yang sampe mau gendong gue gara gara takut gue jatoh pake itu sepatu HAHAHADUH mas ngga liat itu corak boots saya? MILITER!!!!! sesampai nya di Taman Sari gue udah lega tuh alhamdulilah banget sampe nya selamet, nah bantu bantu gitu gue disuruh bawa lukisan nya Lusi dan gatau gimana apa karena gue yang ngga bisa diem jadi tuh lukisan meleset dari tangan gue dan PRANGGG tuh lukisan pecah dan gue panik hem bener bener panik you know. 

yasudahlah bilang aja kali ya kalo ngga sengaja, terus akhirnya gue bilang ke Pa Hendry dan ternyata HE CAN FIX IT! horayyy thankyou Pa Hendry, maaf kan saya maafkan maafkan. sudah sore menjelang magrib tuh akhirnya gue capek sendiri dan memutuskan untuk balik ke kelas dengan jeans yang dekil kena tanah, eeh tiba tiba ada yang CLING CLING di mata gue. ada AYAM KFC GRATIS buat yang kerja sampe jam 5 sore it means.........GUE DAPET GUE DAPET YUHU!!! nah terus kan pas gue buka gue agak kecewa gitu ayamnya kecil eh terus gue sepik sepik deh bilang kalo gue ngga suka ini ayam, gue bisa muntah kalo makan wkakakakkaka dan ayam gue pun berubah jadi ayam besar, nah ini bagian favorite. akhirnya selesai juga perisapan Taman Sari dan lanjut ke acara keroncong sampe jam satu malem gausah diceritain kali ya karena gue disitu cuman tiduuuuuuuuuuuur beler beler udah selesai hohohoho.

nah, pagi nya gue terlambat disuruhnya masuk jam 6.30 gue masuknya 8.00 hahahaha close enough kok guys hihihihi. nah abis bangun terlambat gue langsung disuruh jaga kasir dan gue pun langsung diserbu gerombolan Bapak Bapak dan Ibu Ibu orangtua murid, buseeeeeet gue udah cakep cakep tuh udah pake bedak rambut gue masih wangi baru keramas eeh langsung bedak gue luntur kena keringet terus rambut gue acak acakan gara gara gue garuk garuk karena pusing liat duit berceceran hoooo please banget udah tau gue orangnya panikan terus benci banget yang namanya transaksi duit masih aja bisa bisa nya di taro disitu, hemmm benar benar bikin kesal ya.

akhirnya acara Taman Sari berakhir dengan lempar lemparan rainbow cake hahaha mau dong, engga deng berakhir dengan rambut gue acak acakan eh diajakin cabut sama yang lain okelaaah cabut ke Umaku, di Umaku gue makan 4 porsi, guys 4 porsi lohhh malah Ka Calvin aja kekenyangan liat gue makan ihihihihi byee bye Ka Calvin dan Ka Fanie yang ngga bisa ikut malem mingguan sama akyu. abis dari Umaku gue, Olin, Ka Caroline cabut deh ke Junction nah di Junction udah ditungguin di 21 sama Gagah yang katanya mau nonton 'PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 4' yaakkk kebayang dong gue orangnya kagetan gimana gimana gitu, jadi selama nonton gue teriak teriak "ALAHUAKBAR....YAALLAH YAALLAH...ASTAFIRULOH...ALLAH TOLONG ALLAH TOLONG" hahahahaaahahanjrit malu banget gue, jangankan gue ternyata temen temen gue juga malu bawa gue duh kasian akyu. sumpah ya tuh film GA SEREM BANGET! buktinya gue bisa tidur nyenyak, tapi ngagetin nya tuh yang bikin GRAUK GRAUKKK mana posisi duduk gue ngga pewe banget kepala tengklek anjrit abis nonton. selesai nge gaul di CJ, gue pindah ke FAMILY MART yakkk disitu gue makan lagi dengan makanan berbagai rasa kebayang dong gue pulang pulang bentuknya gimana wkwkwk. nah pas makan ketemu Aziz wow dia gendutan terus gue langsung berpikir bahwa Helmi juga pasti bisa gendut yaaa Helmi bisa gendut nothings impossible.

abis nge gaul ke FAMILY MART, gue sama Olin dan Ka Caroline memutuskan untuk stay di rumah Ka Caroline sampe supir menjemput. sumpah itu hari paling nyenengin bangeeet guys, tapi lebih nyenengin kalo malem mingguan sama Helmi sih, emang pernah??? wwkwkwkwk okelaah bye byeee semua sekian cerita saya dan kebodohan saya. love you

GIRLS FACT:

When a girl is quiet,
Millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply. 

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds,
She is not fine at all. 

When a girl stares at you,
She is wondering why you are so wonderful.

When a girl lays on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever. 

When a girl calls you everyday,
She is seeking for your attention.

When a girl wants to see you everyday,
She wants to be pampered. 

When a girl says, "I'll love you forever,"
She means it.

When a girl says that she can't live without you,
She has made up her mind that you are her future. 

When a girl says, "I miss you,"
No one in this world can miss you more than that.

GUY FACTS: 

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you.

When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong. 

When a guy says, "I'm fine," after a few minutes,
He means it.

When a guy stares at you,
He thinks you're the most beautiful thing in the world.

When you're laying your head on a guy's chest
He has the world.

When a guy calls you everyday
He is in love.

When a (**good**) guy says he loves you
He means it.

When a guy says he can't live without you
He's with you till your done. 

When a guy says, "I miss you,"
He misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else.

I HATE HISTORY LESSONS! 

instead we have to look forward not backward. that's the reason I hate the past that I won't to remember. can I erase the past? what should i do to erase all of the past? instead I just want to live in the future, but the past sometimes made me become more emotional until makes me cry. I was weak, so I do shed tears, because I couldn't hold back the emotion inside me that made my tears suddenly fall. memories destroy us.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KE-16

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YANG KE 16, TASYA ANGGITA PUTRI

semoga makin plus plus yang baik baik yang jeleknya diilangin dan di kurangin hehehee, amin.

HAAAAI guys, gue ulangtaun lagi coba hahahaa cepet banget ya ngga kerasa gue udah 16 taun tambah tua dong ya hehehe semoga tambah dewasa deh makin mapan. tadi jam 12 dapet surprise gitudeeh dari HELMI PERMADI love love banget, dia ke rumah gue jam 12 an padahal dia sebelumnya bilang mau nganterin kado jam 8 pagi eh tiba tiba bbm gue dia ada dibawah, HOW SWEET! gue ampe bolak balik kebawah karena takutnya dia boong soalnya suara mobilnya ngga kedengeran sih eh ternyata dia beneran ada di pojokan itu juga gue taunya gara gara hp nya bunyi oiyaaa dia rela ngga bawa si yaris merah gara gara dia tau bunda ngga suka yang berisik berisik uuuuu sweet banget sih helmi terharu nih.

dia bawain kado yang KATANYA loh ya dia yang bungkus, gue percaya aja deh biar cepet wkwkwk. sok sok romantis pake tutup mata gue segala, pas gue buka........BENG BENG!!!!!! waahhh jadi laper. di dalem tumpukan beng-beng ada sepatu sama gelang. so sweet yaaa, hahahaa tapi gue masih nagih janji mawar dari dia yang dari 2 bulan lalu gue minta dan sampe sekarang belom dia kasih kasih, selangka apaansih mawar buset deh. BUT OVERALL THANK YOU SO MUCH HONEY BUNNY SWEETY HEHEHEE LOVE YOU BI.

di bbm banyak banget kawan kawan masang display picture lezat bangetttt hahahaaha nih kayak begini nih fotonya.

   THANK YOU SEMUA. SELAMAT PUASA, lots of love 

My Sheriff Woody

halo semua nih berhubung si kepo nyuruh gue buat nge post, dan gue bingung ngga ada ide buat nge post sesuatu tapi si kepo suruh buat nge post. agak freak memang dia itu. apayaaa...hem oke gue ceritain tentang liburan kali ini ya hem sama sekali kayak ngga kerasa liburan dan rasanya pengen di rumah doang males banget sekolah ngga tau apa yang bikin males tapi bawaannya udah beda aja sekolah yang dulu sama yang sekarang hahahaha oiya barusan makan hanamasa abis waw gue katakan sekali lagi ya ABIS! hahahahahahaha hayoloh masuk masuk rok langsung ntar kekecilan deh huhuu. oiyaadeh karena ngga ada hal hal yang musti gue post berhubung juga si kepo pengen BANGET ngepoin blog gue jadi gue mau deskrepsiin tentang....

Helmi Permadi

hemmmm...mau mulai darimana ya guys deskrepsiinnya. okey seperti yang kalian semua liat dari foto aja udah belaga oke ya heem tapi katanya em KATANYA loh ya dia banyak banget yang naksir tapi itu kan KATANYA hahahahaha. oiya nih cowok romantis bisa, cuek bisa, pembalap KATANYA loh ya, baik banget, perhatian, suaranya kayak bebek, seneng ngelawak yang menurut gue gagal dan kalo gue ketawa itu biar bikin dia seneng aja hahahahaa boongdeng. ayooo bagi yang berminat harap hubungin gue LA-NG-SU-NG! langsung loh ya biar bisa gue gigit gigit dulu hehehehe. masih banyak loh hal hal yang ngga perlu di deskrepsiin disini. kesimpulannya itu dia baik.

gitu gitu dia loh yang selalu muncul di setiap liburan gue, gimana ngga bosen HEHEHEHE candadeng. tapi kadang bosen eh boongdeng hahaha ya kalo mau kenal langsung biasanya sih dia suka nongkrong di emmm dimana ya duh rahasia gue doang nih hahaha cukup post gue segini aja ya ini pun juga Helmi yang nyuruh huh sudahlah byeee.

x.o.x.o

I LOVE YOU THIS BIG

AAAAAHHHH....ga bisa tidur bener bener nggak bisa tidur, gak tau kenapa pikiran campur aduk ini itu. tadinya tuh udah bisa gitu cuman terus bolak balik badan pindah posisi tidur tapi malah jadinya tambah parah pikirannya melayang layang. biasanya kalo insom tuh inisiatif ngapain biar bisa tidur, tapi ini aneh malah tambah jadi asdfghkjkl gitu laaah padahal besok pergi lagi sama Paul Thalia mau muter muter mau ngebolang bareng daripada liburan di rumah.

gue butuh tidur banget, SERIOUSLY. gimanasih rasanya badan lo perlu istirahat capek tapi lo ngga bisa tidur, tiap tidur pasti FAIL FAIL FAIL.

padahal udah ngelakuin semuanya loh, mulai dari nyetel lagu melow gitu sampe loncat loncat biar capek dan akhirnya tidur tapi ya kayak tadi gue bilang gagal!

tiba tiba Helm bbm katanya dia worried about ME. hem aneh ya bisa sama ngga bisa tidur, dan anehnya dia kayak punya perasaan gue lagi bener bener messy. yaudah akhirnya gue suruh sholat dan gue pun ikut sholat tahajud abis sholat tahajud syukur tuh dia bisa tidur tapi gue...GAK BISA! hhh doain ya guys bisa tidur besok musti bangun pagi soalnya byee 

have you ever feel like want to share your secret with your bestfriend but you're afraid they can't keep your secret or negative thinking about your secret? haha i'm feel it now. 


i wish i could tell about my feelings now with my bestfriend, but i don't know who. one doesn't need to gimme a comment or advice, just being a good listener.

Don't Wanna Miss A Thing

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Where every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure


Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God we're together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever

I don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing

I don't want to miss one smile
I don't want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time Yeah yeah yeah

I don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing

I Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
And I don't want to miss a thing

Scherzo's Parents Presentation

HORAAAAAAAAAY WE DID IT!

LOVE YOU FULL GUYS

Me, Thalia, Olin, Lusi, Yesa, Nia, and Qory

The boys, posing as cherrybell. CHIBI CHIBI

Alif, Adya, Matthew, Aquilla, Irfan, Gagah, Joshua, Adimas, and Dera

SIAAAAAP!

hihihiii ini parents presentation perfomance nya Scherzo, keren banget deh asli padahal kita cuman latihan dua hari dan pas gladiresik nya itu masih sangat kurang tapi pas hari-H nya ternyata kereeeeen guys! apalagi perfomance terakhir ya walaupun si Rama ngga masuk karena sakit tapi ternyata keren juga walaupun ngga ada petikan bass nya hehee. pokoknya I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SCHERZO!

Helmi Permadi

Hello, long time no post ya guys! Ini foto gue sama Helmi Permadi, hahahhaa paraah ya kita saling melengkapi banget loh eem gue kasih beberapa contoh ya


1. Gue egois, Helmi penyabar
2. Gue gampang badmood, Helmi pengertian
3. Gue cakep, Helmi jelek
4. Gue imut, Helmi amit
5. Gue normal, Helmi alay klimaks
6. Gue manis, Helmi asem
7. Gue pesek, Helmi mancung


hahahahhahaha saling melengkapi banget kan? becanda deng. ya inti dari segala inti Helmi itu orangnya sabar banget bangeeet sama gue, gue akuin loh ya dia cowok tersabar yang pernah gue kenal em ini ngga di lebay lebay in tapi emang bener NYATA! gue badmood tuh bisa nyampe berapa kali dan dia tuh pasti yang cuman bisa sabaar hahaha mungkin bisa jadi sambil ngelus dada bilang "yaAllah pacar ku kok gini banget ya, sabar sabar deh" hihiiii ngga kerasa banget ya udah 3 bulan oi, 3 bulan mau 4 bulan masih lama sih tapi ngga kerasa kok ya hehe.


Helmi nih ya, kalo udah gue marah pasti dia minta maaf padahal yang salah bisa jadi gue sendiri tapi dia tetep minta maaf. terus kalo gue udah bete nih bisa bisa dia ngirimin makanan ke rumah gue, bisa jadi ice cream, martabak, beng beng sekardus, dll semua dia kasih biar gue ngga bete lagi. HOW LUCKY I AM. nih ya gue yakin banget nih Helmi baca ini pasti berseri seri terus terbang terbang kegirangan hahahaha. EGO AMARE BI 

the most terrible is seeing my friend hurt by someone but I can't do anything to make her happy again, cause the only reason that makes her happy is be with someone that makes her hurt

You're One Lucky Girl When Your Man:

1. Follows you when you walkout
2. Calls you back when you hang-up
3. Hugs you tight when you punch him
4. Kisses you when you nag
5. Watches chick flicks with you. Tolerates your crying over love stories
6. Hands you the remote
7. Passes on booze night just to listen to your ranting
8. Knows how to say "I'm sorry" and always tells you "I love you"


Now we can say, men are seldom made....

Sort Of

LIMITED EDTION

THINGS I WANT TO BUY

I miss when I was little and didn't care about my weight, clothes, or hair, I just did what make me happy

I DON'T HATE SCHOOL

I JUST HATE THE HOMEWORK, THE EXAMS, AND WAKING UP IN THE MORNING ARGH!

LOVEYOU ALE ALAY <3

2nd Of March

2nd of April. Te Quiero Helmi Permadi, thanks for the anniversary gift. selamat sebulan ya Ale Ale ♥ semoga makin makin yang plus plus yaaa. iloveyou Helmi Permadi.

HAAAAAI I NEED MORE HOLIDAY....

bener bener ya sekarang Pilar tugas udah numpuk kayak apaan tau, apalagi science aduh 70% homework tuh pasti dari Bu Denok. BU PLEASE MENGERTI ANAKNYA LAAH heem belom lagi senin ulangan civics dan gue belom belajar tenonet nonet mana besok ke Bandung hufff lebih tenonet nonet lagi karena pasti capek dan akhirnya males belajar, ini gue sama Olin sampe ngerelain ngga nonton Disney On Ice looh parah ya padahal tema nya Toy Story. mengecewakan.

oiya hari ini Nadya pulang hihihiii senangnya dapet oleh oleh ya dari Singapore, really really miss her so much. sepi banget ini rumah kalo ngga ada peggangu nya hahaha saking kangennya sampe gue pake baju dia looh hari ini hohooooo. sekian post saya. terimakasih

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HELMI PERMADI

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YA LE, semua wishes udah aku tulis di surat yang aku bikin buat kamu ya heheheee jangan lupa sama wishes yang terakhir ya Le hehehehehe. maaf ya cupcake nya fail, tadi udah dibuat Olin bagus bagus terus aku tumpahin pake cream huuuuuf HOW STUPID I AM

13 March, 2012

kemaren tuh ujan nya badai, gue sampe doa doa biar ngga ujan dan alhamdulilah terkabul. abis renang, gue Thalia sama Olin langsung mandi dan abis mandi gue langsung ke rumah Olin buat nghias cupcakes sambil nunggu Thalia. gue udah AAAAH PAAANIKKK tuh soalnya Helmi udah mau berangkat ke Tampo, masa iya gue ngasih cupcakes depan temen temennya ya karena ngga enak gue nyuruh dia ketemuan sama gue. nah abis dari rumah Olin kita semua langsung cabs ke FM buat ketemu Helper.

ketemu Helmi langsung ngasih cupcakes sama hadiah yang udah gue buatin buat dia terus langsung makan es teler, Thalia Olin juga mesen tuh nah si Helmi langsung bingung kok gue ngga ikut mesen padahal he know me so well kalo gue suka banget sama es teler yaudadeeh karena ingin trying to be a romantic person akhirnya sepering berdua sama Helmi tapi gue makan sok jaim jadi cuman beberapa sendok. abis itu karena ngga enak Helmi ada di kumpulan cewek cewek akhirnya gue temenin dia balik dulu terus gue baru balik ke Sinar Garut nemenin Thalia Olin. gue lari lari tuh pengen nyamperin mereka soalnya udah LAPER BERAT! gue langsung mesen es teler lagi terus batagor sama sate padang, hahahaaa makan besar kemaren bro.

abis dari FM gue langsung nganterin Thalia Olin pulang, gue nyetir sendiri noooh terus ketemu Ayya di nasi kucing hahahaha tanpa pikir panjang gue dada dada padahal ada Aidil hahahaa bodo lah.

pas di mobil ada kejadian yang menggelikan parah sampe bikin Thalia ngakak terbahak bahak, okee mungkin ini hanya kami yang tahu. haaaaah akhirnya pulang dengan selamat, THANKS FOR TODAY YA PPF AND ALSO ALE

dua maret duaribu duabelas

yaAllah masih ngga percaya kalo Pa Donny udah ngga ada. masih bener bener ngerasa dia ada disekitar sekolahan masih ngerasain senyumnya yaampun. terakhir kali gue ketemu dia tuh pas morning pray dan kita bicarain tentang valentine. 


disana gue sweet banget, trying to be romantic person dan saat itu gue udah ngeliat muka Pa Donny pucet not as usual. sehari sebelum meninggal gue tiba tiba ngomong ke Olin "Lin, kok udah lama amat ya Pa Donny ngga ngajar kita? sakit ya kayaknya dia, ngga pernah keliatan" padahal jelas jelas Pa Donny masuk looh cuman masa gue ngga pernah ngeliat aneh kaan ya.


terakhir kali dia nanya ke gue "udah makan cha?" pas itu lagi ngantri makanan di canteen. terus gue senyum bilang "udah kok pak" terus dia ngangguk ngangguk langsung ke kursi buat makan bareng teacher yang lain. kalo tau itu pertanyaan terakhir dari Pa Donny, gue bakal netesin air mata depan dia. well we know that age is only in God's hand. itu berarti terakhir juga Pa Donny mainin gitar buat gue dan ngelatih vokal assembly ramadhan. huhuhuu bener bener nangis deh ditinggal guru terkece ini. aku udah ikhlas kok Pak, tapi masih ngga bisa percaya aja Anang udah pergi selama lamanya hahahaa udah ngga bisa bercanda lagi ya kita Pak. aku kangen banget sama Bapak.
tadi aku liat Umar anak Bapak, masih kecil banget ngga tau apa apa. tadi nangis pas Umar bilang "ayah, Umar pulang dulu ya" disitu gue ngerasa gimana kalo gue itu ada di posisi Umar, ngga tau deh bisa stress banget haaaaaaaaaa pengen banget semua ini hoax ngga mau kehilangan Bapak.


selamat jalan Pa Donny, aku selalu inget bapak. aku juga udah kangen aja sama Bapak ehehehee, maaf ya Pak kalo sering nyusahin ya walaupun aku tau aku ngga nyusahin ehehehe ah stop bercandanya. makasih ya Pak udah kemaren mau dengerin gombalan aku yang fail dan terimakasih udah nge gombalin aku. love you Pak Donny Eka Putra 

once again, "BYE ANANG"

DEAR SCHOOL, I NEED MORE HOLIDAY!!!!!! 

Perfect Boyfriend List

taller than me. nice. funny kinda shy. LOTS of kisses. not the  JEALOUS type. hold my hand. HAS A NICE VOICE. respectful and caring. says that i'm "beautiful". cute smile. GIVES ME HIS SWEATSHIRT. teaze eachother. buy me candy. loves me FOREVER

SCHERZO

YES, I'M SCARED.

I'm jealous. I'm scared that you think she's pretty. I'm scared that you will find her more interesting. I'm scared that you will think she's so much better than me.

I'm scared that you might leave me soon. And yes I'm jealous that you talked to her. I'm jealous that you had fun with her. 

I'm scared. I'm jealous. But that's only because you 

MEAN A LOT TO ME DUDE

Dear Bestfriend

You're stupid. You fail

You're weird. You're not perfect.

But, that's okay. I'm like that, too.

We laugh at the randomest things.

You know my ugliest side, even though we disagree someties,

we never fight. When I'm sad,

you were always there to make sure I'm okay.

Thanks for being there for me.

I LOVE YOU ;D

PLEASE READ THIS BOYS!

when she's not yours, you'll do everything you can to get her. but when you do to have her, you take everything for granted and a girl will wait as long as she feels there's something worth it. but she won't wait FOREVER

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE

hope this year is much better than before. let's make a new memories, new mistake, new hearaches, new people, and new tears.

NEW YEAR PLANS: LEAVE THE HEARTBREAKER AND TEARS BEHIND. FORGIVE THOSE WHO HURT ME AND FORGET WHO LEFT