Grade 12, Rio De Jenairo paskibra

terlalu jauh untuk kembali kesemula, terlalu dalam untuk dijalani

I don’t think you understand how much you destroyed me. When you would start to call me less and less, I would still fall asleep with the phone by my bed in case you decided that you loved me again and wanted to talk. I don’t think you understand how pathetic you made me feel. You weren’t supposed to know the extent of how badly you hurt me. It was a secret I hid quite well. 

Even when you broke up with me, I tried to display some semblance of control so I could show you that you didn't win. What a lie. You won. You won for a weeks. Every day, you would win and own my feelings. You had no clue.

It’s all a game we play. You’re not supposed to know how much power you had over me. You’re not supposed to how much I thought about you, how often I thought about what were you doing, how often you reduced me to tears. If you did know, it would make me tragic AND dumped, which was too much for my pride to bear.

I wanted to tell you so many times. I wanted to tell you how insane you made me feel, how much you had taken over my life but I just couldn’t. I had to be the only one who knew. I couldn’t bring myself to give you insight into my crazy thought processes because I still wanted you to think of me as cute, nice, and normal. If you understood the depths of my devastation, your perception of me might’ve changed for the worse. Well, screw that. 

You need to know just how badly you broke my heart. I don’t feel like sparing your feelings anymore and preserving this false image of myself. You’re never coming back so why don’t I just let it all hang out? YOUR REJECTION MADE ME TEMPORARILY GO INSANE. There. I said it. You did that to me. Not attractive, right? I don’t care. If i had told you this sooner, maybe I wouldn’t have wasted so much time mourning our relationship. Maybe if I had told you how hurt I was, I would finally start feeling okay again. Maybe.

I’m so tired of not being honest about my feelings. It just made everything so much worse. So here you go, here’s my confession. You made someone go insane with grief and that someone was me. You broke my heart. SURPRISE!

Thanks both of you. 

baby i lied got feelings for you i can't hide, so sad but it's true. it's hard but i

can't let you stay because we both know where it leads and i have to let you go. it's over we both know and sorry won't fix us this time

words won't help to heal what hurts me. sometimes it seems i'd sleep for dreams when you were mine but with the sun the truth becomes so clear i can't go back this time

Dear Santa,

This year, please gimme a big fat account and a slim body. And please please don't mix those two up like you did last year.

Thanks.

"T" stands for Tasya, she's there when I'm in my point of boredom. she's there when I have to share all my happiness. she's there for tell all the jokes she have. she's there when I'm hungry. she's there when I'm in the deep of my sadness. last time I checked, that were all the characteristic of Bestfriend &I know she is. 

she's not beautiful, she's not a role model &she's not a motivator and I don't care.

I just lucky to feel her loyalness :$ 

she got sad, when I feel it too

she got happy, when I feel it too

we feel everything all the same. 

you can't take her from me, baby! B-)

ghal, thanks for being there for me, 

when I need you ;-)

I watched you cry
Bathed in sunlight
By the bathroom door
You said you wished you did not love me anymore

You left your flowers in the backseat of my car
The things we said and did have left permanent scars
Obsessed depressed at the same time
I can't even walk in a straight line
I've been lying in the dark no sunshine
No sunshine
No sunshine

She cries
This is more than goodbye
When I look into your eyes
You're not even there
It's just a feeling
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have, oh yeah

Cause I can't believe that it's over
You've hit your low
You've lost control and you want me back
You may not believe me but I gave you all I had
Undress confess that you're still mine
Roll around in a bed full of tears
I'm still lying in the dark no sunshine
No sunshine
No sunshine

She cries
This is more than goodbye
When I look into your eyes
You're not even there
It's just a feeling
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have

No I can't believe that it's over now
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have

So much to say
It's not the way she does her hair
It's the way she seems to stare right through my eyes
And in my darkest day when she refused to run away
From love she tried so hard to save

It's just a feeling
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have

It's just a feeling
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have

I can't believe that it's over
I can't believe that it's over
Now I can't believe that's it's over, yeah

Taman Sari

hari ini gue bakal nyeritain tentang Kelas 11, tak lain adalah kelas gue yang jadi PEC buat Taman Sari. Taman Sari ituh pondok yang katanya seram hiii berbau mistis hahahaha katanya tapi sudah di ubah untuk........oke gue bener bener ngga tau sampe sekarang itu gunanya buat apa karena belom pernah dipake lagi semenjak 'PAINTING AND PHOTOGRAPHY EXHIBITION'. banyak hal hal yang seru pas kita jadi PEC disana, dan banyak juga jam yang memotong jam pelajaran Bu Mega WOOOT WOTT!!!! 

jadi pas itu kan ujan ujanan gitu kan, gue dengan sok ide mengambil boots ANAK SD can you imagine seberapa kecilnya itu boots buat gue hahahaha dan Olin pun ikutan make boots biar ke Taman Sari flat kita ngga rusak kucel jelek amburadul. dan gue memilih warna yang sesuai dengan gue hahahaha kalian mau tau apa? WARNA HIJAU LUMUT DENGAN CORAK MILITER rawrr sekali guys dan Olin pun dengan badan sangar nya memilih WARNA KUNING DENGAN POLA BEBEK BEBEK eem ketuker sepertinya kita lin. nah terus gue sama Olin tuh kesenengan karena sudah dapat sepatu yang sesuai, kita bermain becek becekan sambil ontheway Taman Sari yang ngeliatin pada takjub sama itu sepatu bahkan ada OB yang sampe mau gendong gue gara gara takut gue jatoh pake itu sepatu HAHAHADUH mas ngga liat itu corak boots saya? MILITER!!!!! sesampai nya di Taman Sari gue udah lega tuh alhamdulilah banget sampe nya selamet, nah bantu bantu gitu gue disuruh bawa lukisan nya Lusi dan gatau gimana apa karena gue yang ngga bisa diem jadi tuh lukisan meleset dari tangan gue dan PRANGGG tuh lukisan pecah dan gue panik hem bener bener panik you know. 

yasudahlah bilang aja kali ya kalo ngga sengaja, terus akhirnya gue bilang ke Pa Hendry dan ternyata HE CAN FIX IT! horayyy thankyou Pa Hendry, maaf kan saya maafkan maafkan. sudah sore menjelang magrib tuh akhirnya gue capek sendiri dan memutuskan untuk balik ke kelas dengan jeans yang dekil kena tanah, eeh tiba tiba ada yang CLING CLING di mata gue. ada AYAM KFC GRATIS buat yang kerja sampe jam 5 sore it means.........GUE DAPET GUE DAPET YUHU!!! nah terus kan pas gue buka gue agak kecewa gitu ayamnya kecil eh terus gue sepik sepik deh bilang kalo gue ngga suka ini ayam, gue bisa muntah kalo makan wkakakakkaka dan ayam gue pun berubah jadi ayam besar, nah ini bagian favorite. akhirnya selesai juga perisapan Taman Sari dan lanjut ke acara keroncong sampe jam satu malem gausah diceritain kali ya karena gue disitu cuman tiduuuuuuuuuuuur beler beler udah selesai hohohoho.

nah, pagi nya gue terlambat disuruhnya masuk jam 6.30 gue masuknya 8.00 hahahaha close enough kok guys hihihihi. nah abis bangun terlambat gue langsung disuruh jaga kasir dan gue pun langsung diserbu gerombolan Bapak Bapak dan Ibu Ibu orangtua murid, buseeeeeet gue udah cakep cakep tuh udah pake bedak rambut gue masih wangi baru keramas eeh langsung bedak gue luntur kena keringet terus rambut gue acak acakan gara gara gue garuk garuk karena pusing liat duit berceceran hoooo please banget udah tau gue orangnya panikan terus benci banget yang namanya transaksi duit masih aja bisa bisa nya di taro disitu, hemmm benar benar bikin kesal ya.

akhirnya acara Taman Sari berakhir dengan lempar lemparan rainbow cake hahaha mau dong, engga deng berakhir dengan rambut gue acak acakan eh diajakin cabut sama yang lain okelaaah cabut ke Umaku, di Umaku gue makan 4 porsi, guys 4 porsi lohhh malah Ka Calvin aja kekenyangan liat gue makan ihihihihi byee bye Ka Calvin dan Ka Fanie yang ngga bisa ikut malem mingguan sama akyu. abis dari Umaku gue, Olin, Ka Caroline cabut deh ke Junction nah di Junction udah ditungguin di 21 sama Gagah yang katanya mau nonton 'PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 4' yaakkk kebayang dong gue orangnya kagetan gimana gimana gitu, jadi selama nonton gue teriak teriak "ALAHUAKBAR....YAALLAH YAALLAH...ASTAFIRULOH...ALLAH TOLONG ALLAH TOLONG" hahahahaaahahanjrit malu banget gue, jangankan gue ternyata temen temen gue juga malu bawa gue duh kasian akyu. sumpah ya tuh film GA SEREM BANGET! buktinya gue bisa tidur nyenyak, tapi ngagetin nya tuh yang bikin GRAUK GRAUKKK mana posisi duduk gue ngga pewe banget kepala tengklek anjrit abis nonton. selesai nge gaul di CJ, gue pindah ke FAMILY MART yakkk disitu gue makan lagi dengan makanan berbagai rasa kebayang dong gue pulang pulang bentuknya gimana wkwkwk. nah pas makan ketemu Aziz wow dia gendutan terus gue langsung berpikir bahwa Helmi juga pasti bisa gendut yaaa Helmi bisa gendut nothings impossible.

abis nge gaul ke FAMILY MART, gue sama Olin dan Ka Caroline memutuskan untuk stay di rumah Ka Caroline sampe supir menjemput. sumpah itu hari paling nyenengin bangeeet guys, tapi lebih nyenengin kalo malem mingguan sama Helmi sih, emang pernah??? wwkwkwkwk okelaah bye byeee semua sekian cerita saya dan kebodohan saya. love you

GIRLS FACT:

When a girl is quiet,
Millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply. 

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds,
She is not fine at all. 

When a girl stares at you,
She is wondering why you are so wonderful.

When a girl lays on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever. 

When a girl calls you everyday,
She is seeking for your attention.

When a girl wants to see you everyday,
She wants to be pampered. 

When a girl says, "I'll love you forever,"
She means it.

When a girl says that she can't live without you,
She has made up her mind that you are her future. 

When a girl says, "I miss you,"
No one in this world can miss you more than that.

GUY FACTS: 

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you.

When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong. 

When a guy says, "I'm fine," after a few minutes,
He means it.

When a guy stares at you,
He thinks you're the most beautiful thing in the world.

When you're laying your head on a guy's chest
He has the world.

When a guy calls you everyday
He is in love.

When a (**good**) guy says he loves you
He means it.

When a guy says he can't live without you
He's with you till your done. 

When a guy says, "I miss you,"
He misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else.